In week 49 of 3012 a Starstruck wizard appeared in Hells Will's court, to find him sleeping on his throne.
"BOO!" Frightened out of his boxers, Hells Will rebounded off the ceiling back onto his throne. "What, what, who are you?"
"Nauseating leader of Hell, President Starstriker of Starstrike is disgusted by your claim to be the most powerful empire in this galaxy! Since you will not surrender, your military will be crushed, your people incinerated and your name removed from all school history books in the Starstrike Empire."
"I, I... not that! Anything but the history books!"
"We will destroy, crush and maim for one standard year. If in that time you continue to colonise our rightful land, then I'll be back!"
*Amid Hells Will's indignant blustering and feverish attempts to cover his royal jewels, Starstrike's head wizard snaps his fingers - and disappears in a puff of smoke*
All across Starstrike turbines roar as the space fleet prepares for war. Last minute adjustments optimise the fighters' performance. Pilots race for their ships. Star-News managed to get a last minute interview with Commander Starlover, son of President Starstriker and Supreme Commander of Starstrike's airfleet. Confident of victory, he predicts Hells Will's fighter fleet will roll over and play dead, based on a prophesy from his pet cat Felix. Besides, he whispers conspiratorially, even if they do come out of their holes and show their noses, we have a secret weapon they could never defeat!
In his last words before stepping into his fighter, Commander Starlover dedicated this battle to his gentle and most loved mother, Lady Starcrusher.
With the morale of Starstrike's army in shatters after their inglorious defeat Dancing on Blades, General Starshirker was been dismissed by President Starstrike (At the point of a laser rifle, or so rumours suggest). His funeral will be held in the Capital Salt Cellar of Starstrike, in week 50 of 3012. All citizens are encouraged not to attend.
On temporary loan from one of Starstrike's glorious allies, General C-3PO (former protocol driod of Princess Organa-Solo) will personally lead thousands of droids to battle. Fluent in six million languages, C-3PO is certain of victory. "I expect that I will perform superbly in my new position" he states. "Indeed, I would even presume that my military skills will be as succesful at winning wars, as my diplomatic skills have been in creating them". His confidence is extremely reassuring to millions of Starstruck citizens.
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